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Grown: looking out the window calm

*locked to Harry Al*

Harry, I... before you've actually left, I want to say what I really should have started with. And it may come off totally wrong after what I did ask and say, but I think your, as you said, parade - and your idea - is beautiful, and your going over to Milan is awesome.


Okay. Thanks.
And I was wrong to ask and say what I did. No excuses, I was just plain wrong.
*shrugs* There must've been a reason, right? It's fine.
Me getting you upset... isn't fine for me. And having a reason didn't make it right. No reason is worth... that. *looks down* I know I can't take it back - but I do mean all my apologies. I realise I should have considered better who I know you are before speaking up. If I had, I wouldn't have asked that.
*deep breath* And you doing something new and interesting is the best thing after sliced bread anyway.
If you had a reason, then you don't know me. I would've thought how I am would prevent whatever doubt people would have, but that's a bit idealistic I guess, and so bloody naive.

I'll send you a postcard when I get settled.
It was not doubting. I never doubted that you would respect any choice they'd make and would remain close with each and everyone. Not for a moment. It was just me being stupid. It was just me wondering if they would go ahead and speak up if they had misgivings, but I simpy... should have trusted more. Everyone. As I said, I was wrong, and stupid. And words came out wrong.
But I didn't doubt that you'd accept, I really, really didn't. *quietly* Please, forgive me for making you think that.

*nods* Thank you.
I have nothing to forgive you for. Maybe you weren't completely wrong, so hey. The stupid one here isn't you. And you were helping them speak up, so I should probably thank you, right?

*slight nod*
But I was wrong. And definitely stupid. I thought I was helping everyone - and I was mistaken, I see that I was. I just made things hard.

*sighs* Thank me? Whatever my intentions might have been... I just screwed thigs up. I don't think that deserves any kind of thanks.
... next time I say something that idiotic, just kick me in the shins and don't think about it that hard.
I'm not going to kick you.